Propertius 4.9

Amphitryoniades qua tempestate iuuencos egerat a stabulis, o Erythea, tuis, uenit ad inuictos pecorosa Palatia montis, et statuit fessos fessus et ipse boues, qua Velabra suo stagnabant flumine quoque nauta per urbanas uelificabat aquas.	In the season when Amphitryoniades man had driven young bulls from your stables, O Erythea, he came from cattle-rich Palatia to your unconquered mountains, and he, tired himself, set up tired cows, at the place the Vebabra was halting its flow and the sailor was sailing through urban waters.
sed non infido manserunt hospite Caco incolumes: furto polluit ille Iouem. incola Cacus erat, metuendo raptor ab antro, per tria partitos qui dabat ora sonos.	But Cacus, the unfaithful host did not leave them uninjured: he dishonored Jupiter with a theft. Cacus was a transplant, a robber from a fearful cave, who was making different sounds through three mouths.
hic, ne certa forent manifestae signa rapinae, auersos cauda traxit in antra boues, nec sine teste deo: furem sonuere iuuenci, furis et implacidas diruit ira fores.	He, lest certain signs of blunder were evident, dragged struggling cows by the tail into the caves, but not without the god as a witness: to denounce the thief of the bulls, rage pulled down the savage doors of the robber.
Maenalio iacuit pulsus tria tempora ramo Cacus, et Alcides sic ait: "ite, boues, Herculis ite boues, nostrae labor ultime clauae, bis mihi quaesitae, bis mea praeda, boues, aruaque mugitu sancite Bouaria longo: nobile erit Romae pascua uestra Forum."	Pounded three times by the Herculean club, Cacus lay down, and Alcide [Hercules] thus said: "Go, cows, go as cows of Hercules, the final labor of my cudgel, sought twice by me, twice my pillage, cows, and dedicate by mooing long and loud the Bovarian altar: your pasture will be the noble Forum of Roma."
dixerat, et sicco torquet sitis ora palato, terraque non ullas feta ministrat aquas. sed procul inclusas audit ridere puellas, lucus ubi umbroso fecerat orbe nemus, femineae loca clausa deae fontesque piandos impune et nullis sacra retecta uiris.	He had spoken, and thirst twisted his mouth with a dry palate, and the fertile land administered not any water. But nearby he heard that cloistered girls were laughing, where a wooded grove had formed a shady circle, a closed space for the feminine goddess, and with appeased fountains sacred things revealed to no man without punishment.
deuia puniceae uelabant limina uittae, putris odorato luxerat igne casa, populus et longis ornabat frondibus aedem, multaque cantantis umbra tegebat auis.	Crimson bands covered the remote threshholds, a putrid hovel was shining with smelly fire, a poplar tree adorned the temple with huge leaves, and shadows hid the multitude of singing birds.
huc ruit in siccam congesta puluere barbam, et iacit ante fores uerba minora deo: "uos precor, o luci sacro quae luditis antro, pandite defessis hospita fana uiris.	He rushed there, with dust thick in his dry beard, and said before the doors these less than godly words: "I pray to you, you who play in the cave of the grove, spread your welcoming temple to a tired man.
fontis egens erro circaque sonantia lymphis; et caua succepto flumine palma sat est. audistisne aliquem, tergo qui sustulit orbem? ille ego sum: Alciden terra recepta uocat.	A wanderer, in need of a spring and around the sounds of a spring; and the hollow of a hand is enough for accepting water. Do you hear of someone, who carried the world on his back? I am that man: the world accepted by me calls me Alcide.
quis facta Herculeae non audit fortia clauae et numquam ad uastas irrita tela feras, atque uni Stygias homini luxisse tenebras? [accipit: haec fesso uix mihi terra patet.]	Who has not heard the mighty deeds of Hercules club and his spear never useless against huge wildings, and that Stygian dark corners shone for the one man? [This land scarcely is open for weary me.]
quodsi Iunoni sacrum faceretis amarae, non clausisset aquas ipsa nouerca suas. sin aliquem uultusque meus saetaeque leonis terrent et Libyco sole perusta coma, idem ego Sidonia feci seruilia palla officia et Lydo pensa diurna colo, mollis et hirsutum cepit mihi fascia pectus, et manibus duris apta puella fui."	If you built holy places of altars to Juno, she herself, a stepmother, might not shut her doors. But if my face and leonine mane frighten anyone and my hair burned through by the Libyan sun, I am the same who worked in the official tunic of a Sidonian slave-girl and I work daily with a Lydian distaff, a soft ribbon binds my hair chest, and I was suited to be a girl with rough hands."
talibus Alcides; at talibus alma sacerdos puniceo canas stamine uincta comas: "parce oculis, hospes, lucoque abscede uerendo; cede agedum et tuta limina linque fuga. interdicta uiris metuenda lege piatur quae se summota uindicat ara casa.	With such words spoke Alcide; but at such words the nourishing priestess said, her gray hairs held back with a red ribbon: Spare your eyes, guest, and depart from our sacred grove; submit and leave and abandon this doorstep run away safe. It is designated pure of men and avengedy by a frightful law, that altar which is safe in this grove.
magno Tiresias aspexit Pallada uates, fortia dum posita Gorgone membra lauat. di tibi dent alios fontis: haec lympha puellis auia secreti limitis unda fluit."	Tiresias the prophet looked on Pallada to great cost, while she bathed her strong limbs with her Gorgone set aside. Let the gods give to you another fountain: this watery wave flows for girls of a secret path."
sic anus: ille umeris postis concussit opacos, nec tulit iratam ianua clausa sitim. at postquam exhausto iam flumine uicerat aestum, ponit uix siccis tristia iura labris:	Thus said the old woman: that man pounded the darkened doorposts with his upper arms, and the closed gate did not bear his angry thirst. But immediately after he quenched his passion with the tapped-out spring, with his lips scarcely dry, he promulgated this law:
"angulus hic mundi nunc me mea fata trahentem accipit: haec fesso uix mihi terra patet. Maxima quae gregibus deuota est Ara repertis, ara per has" inquit "maxima facta manus, haec nullis umquam pateat ueneranda puellis, Herculis aeternum nec sit inulta sitis."	This corner of the world now accpets me, dragging my fates: this land is scarcely open to weary me. This Greatest Altar is devoted to the discovered herd, the greatest altar of all those my hand made, this will ever be open for worship by no women, so that is not will be eternally unpunished for Hercules' thirst."
hunc, quoniam manibus purgatum sanxerat orbem, sic Sanctum Tatiae composuere Cures. Sancte pater salue, cui iam fauet aspera Iuno: Sancte, uelis libro dexter inesse meo.	This man, since with his hands he had dedicated the cleansed world, thus the Curian people had built the sacred temple of the Tatian. Farewll, sacred father, to whom bitter Juno now favors: Sacred one, wish favor to be with my book.

Oh my stars, that was a lot of translating. Interesting, though. Sexist Rome waves hello: it has to say something that Hercules was so worshipped and was such a selfish brute. The cross-dressing was interesting - it's like Mike Tyson having a Robin Williams moment.